The Rabbit Hole to Wonderland

by Anissa

What brought me here? Well, destiny and fate sound cheesy, as do coincidences, so I'll just go back a couple of weeks and explain how I found this site.

I watched a youtube video called the Occult Theory of Law. It was an interesting perspective, with attempts to explain the evolution our legal systems with archaic language, symbolism and principles. I wanted to know more, as there are pressing personal reasons needing to be intellectually satisfied (if that's even possible?) - a story for another day.
I looked up a number of "occult" "esoteric" "law" word combinations and esotericlaw came up and of course I clicked on the web page.
Compared to what I just watched, the teachings expressed here are/were not what I was expecting from this site. What a nice surprise!
After spending some time here getting acquainted with "esoteric law," the laws of men dwindled into comparative insignificance. I wanted to know more about *this,* even if to gain only a small glimpse of the true nature of reality, something that has perplexed me since I began to reason as a young child. My fascination with "weird stuff that most people don't care to talk about" started early on in life, but I admit that the suppression of my curiosity to know more decreased the older I got. Perhaps an excuse, but when you're a young person and stumble upon things no one else around you has a clue about, you're just as lost without proper guidance. What is the point of having a map if you don't understand the legend and cannot even see the road beneath your feet? And if no one is there to teach you, then how successful can you truly be?
So yes, I agree with the assertion that "no self-taught seer ever saw correctly." So much out there is "hooey" and I became the victim of my own skepticism, bordering cynicism (i.e. these so-called mystics want to manipulate emotions and tell people what they want to hear in order to make a buck).
I turned my back on the religious authorities well before high school, discovering that my questions and comments were unsuitable for this kind of community. The "ritualistic" behaviour upset me in a way that I cannot articulate and I have had little trust in the purveyors of religion since.
From there, I thought science to be a more credible source of information, with less "feeling" attached to it. But the more I would "know," the more I realized the less I actually knew or understood about anything. Theories and hypotheses, constantly changing, became less certain. A humourous example - All my life Pluto was a planet. Then it wasn't. Now it is again. I don't think Pluto really cares what designation we give it, but those arbitrary designations greatly affect how we "see" the world, guiding our beliefs and actions.
Philosophy has not really answered much, and I fully agreed with Laurency that the task of the philosopher may be best suited to asking the questions that cannot be satisfied by either religion or science.
Reading through KoR, I was both overwhelmed and over my head. There is a lot that confuses me (the "technical" blue prints) and I expect to read it several times before the a-ha moments appear (granted, there were a few near-cathartic moments when things that I had never read or heard before made perfect sense, as if I should have or did always know it). I said in another response that I will have to revert to making visual depictions of the teachings, since words don't always cut it when trying to learn something old.
Thank you for accepting my request to learn.

AB